Healing From the Inside Out: Part 3

Why do we make the same mistakes in relationships over and over?  How can we be strong Christian women, have belief and hope in God, and yet not trust our earthly relationships to him?  Do we repeat the same mistakes because we still haven’t learned what we need to?  Are we just stubborn, wanting to control the outcome, trying to change what we cannot?  I have been asking myself these questions and I have been doing a lot of reading on how to handle my emotions, on my self-esteem and on this season in my life.  God’s word is clear. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 NLT  

For me, I repeat the same mistakes, thinking I can do something to create a different outcome, thinking that I can change others, thinking that I need to alter how I act. Today is a sunny day, yet requiring a jacket as a cool breeze is blowing. It is April and the Saturday before Easter.  As I walk, I talk with God, I look outside of myself, I focus on what could be if I would surrender completely to my heavenly Father in all areas of my life and not just in those areas are convenient for me to give to him.  I was out walking Rocky and Wink, and I observed how easily they surrender to my guidance, how they trust me to keep them from harm, how they know that they will be provided for.  We have a trust and a relationship that has developed over the past 5 years.   How did I learn along the way to keep control of this one area of my life and not surrender it to God?  All behaviors are learned, and even though I know in my head what is the right thing to do, my heart is dictating my actions.  The Bible says in Hebrews 5:12 that we are still babies, drinking of the milk and not a mature Christian, eating solid food.  “You have been believers so long now that you ought to be teaching others. Instead, you need someone to teach you again the basic things about God’s word. You are like babies who need milk and cannot eat solid food.”   Living on milk, reflects the inability to choose what is right in God’s eyes. Hebrews 5:13 “For someone who lives on milk is still an infant and doesn’t know how to do what is right.”  Peter says that we are like newborn babies, craving spiritual milk, so that we can fully experience the salvation of Jesus Christ (1Peter 2:2).

As I was walking and talking to God, I had an epiphany regarding my spiritual maturity, my faith and lack of trust.  I have given all areas to him except the area of relationships.  And this is the area that I have a history of rejection.  This is the one area that I should be the most trusting, and yet this is the area that I hold back.  I am allowing my fear of rejection to be stronger than my faith and confidence in God.  My favorite passage on faith comes from Hebrews, Chapter 11:1:  “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.”  How can I move forward and have that confidence?  How do I rest in God’s assurance that because I love him that what he has in store for me is beyond what I can even imagine? (1Cor 2:9)  All my study, all my learning cannot give me the peace that I experience when I depend on our Heavenly Father to provide for me.  I have felt his presence in so many areas of my life and at so many times; I must finally take this segment of my life and surrender.  Habits are hard to break.  It takes resolve, discipline, consciousness, repetition, and most of all a conviction that my Heavenly Father will provide all things.  2 Corinthians 9:8 “And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others.”

My next step in healing is to turn this final part of my life, one that is a daily struggle, over to a Father who is compassionate, who will never reject me but will keep me safe.  Proverbs 29:25 “Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety.”  My struggle with this part of my life has been a part of my overall healing from the inside out.   It has been a gift from God.  I know that when I am under pressure, when I am challenged that my “faith-life” is then forced into the open and shows its true colors.  I can’t get out of this lesson prematurely.  I must let it work in me so that I become mature and well-developed, and not deficient in any way (James 1:2-4 MSG).

“Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God.  If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant” (Galatians 1:10 NLT).

Healing From the Inside Out: Part 2

  “God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble” Psalm 46:1 (NLT).

Healing takes place from the inside out.  As we read God’s word, meditate on it, pray about it, memorize it and apply it to our lives, we gain a strength and peace that is known only when we are in relationship with our God.  As I reflect on the healing that has taken place in my life, and the healing that continues to take place, this passage has significant meaning.  When you are troubled, worried, depressed, or suffering, do you spend time in God’s word to gain encouragement?

God is Abba, Father, Savior, Holy Spirit, and Jesus Christ.  “And because we are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, “Abba, Father” Galatians 4:6 (NLT).  He gives us eternal life if we believe in the blood of Jesus Christ.  God has been my savior and my best friend throughout all my suffering.  He has never failed me and has always been there to carry me, even when I could not take another step. So many times I looked down and saw only one set of footprints in the sand.

God is ours, not just mine or yours.  God is available to all of us.  We can have a personal relationship with him.  The depth of that relationship  depends on us.  God reaches down to lift us up.  Is God your Savior?  Do you focus on him when you have questions or do you depend on yourself for the answers? Do you find yourself moping with your head down, or is your head held high looking to the one and only who can provide all that we need?

God provides shelter and protection from dangers, he is our refuge. The enemy does not want us to be strong, to have peace. He bates us, trying to lure us in when we are facing health or emotional suffering.  When we are weak, we need to seek God, otherwise we may fall prey to worldly desires. We have to remember that through God’s word, we can find protection from the enemy.  All we need to do is ask the Holy Spirit to throw the enemy out, to cleanse our hearts, to give us peace.  “My victory and honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me” Psalm 62:7 (NLT).

God is our strength.  There is no way that we can handle life today alone.  Without God in our lives, we look in the wrong place for answers.  God is the one to move us through trouble and into peace.  We may think, God we have sinned and have no right to ask, but God is “always ready to help in times of trouble.”  He does not count the number of times we sin or the number of times we come to him to ask for forgiveness.  He is delighted when we, his beloved children, seek him.   “As soon as I pray, you answer me; you encourage me by giving me strength” Psalm 138:3 (NLT). “…even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me” Psalm 139:10 (NLT).

If you are suffering, remember that God always has our best in mind, even if we can’t see what he is doing or why he is doing it.  Through suffering I have learned to be obedient to God and to trust in him.  It is not always easy.  If you are suffering turn to God’s word, and through meditation and prayer, you will be pushed into the very heart of God.

“Jesus says that every Christian has his own cross waiting for him, a cross destined and appointed by God. Each must endure his allotted share of suffering and rejection.” – Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Healing From the Inside Out, Part 1

“My grief is beyond healing; my heart is broker.” Jeremiah 8:18 NLT

As Christmas approaches, are you experiencing the joy of the season or a heavy heart? Are you missing a loved one that departed this year? Are you facing a family illness? How do we go throught the Holidays with a grieving and broken heart?

It has been 8.5 years since my husband died, 5 years since my Dad passed and 3 years since my Mom crossed over. As Christmas approaches, I do look forward to this first Christmas with my granddaughter, and yet it wasn’t long ago that I faced the Holidays grief stricken over the loss of a loved one. How are you going into this Christmas season? Is your heart happy and joyous or are you struggling to keep a smile on your face? I understand what it is like to suffer loss and to be grieving during the Holidays. It is not easy to face the events, the celebration, when those you love are not present. How can we make anyone understand the empty pit, the lonliness, the angst we feel?

It has taken me years to mend my heart, and I have done this through God’s word, prayer and seeking to heal myself from the inside out. The most difficult part of loss of any kind is that there is no “why.” Why do loved ones die unexpectently? Why does cancer strike the person who eats well and exercises? Why do children that are raised in good families, with strong values, end up being addicted to drugs? Why does a parent give up after her spouse has died? Why do you lose your job and the guy next to you doesn’t? Why does a loved one commit suicide?

The Bible tells us that God has a purpose for everything. While Paul was in prison he wrote in Philippians 2:13 “…for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose” (NIV). He knew that he had a purpose being in prison and was focused on his thankfulness, love and helpfulness that he received from the Philippians. Paul also writes, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” Romans 8:28 (NIV). I had faith that what I was experiencing were the lessons that I needed to learn in order to fulfill God’s purpose for my life.

I am sure there were many ways that I could have learned the lessons, but God uses what happens to mold us. I had been arrogant, thinking that I chose my path; that I had made plans that were purposeful. My plans were made around what I wanted, without always considering those of others. I was a good person and believed in God. I was not, however, walking the true path of Jesus Christ. It is one thing to say you are a Christian. It is very different to commit yourself to a life of servitude to the teachings and principals of Jesus Christ. I had no idea how difficult leading a Christ-like life would be.

I had put very little prayer into my plans. I had dreams and expectations. I thought I could do anything I wanted to, without considering what God wanted for me. “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails” Proverbs 19:21 (NIV). Through these past eight years, I have come to know God’s purpose for my life. I would not have been as clear or as willing to walk this path if I had not had the experiences and the hurt that brought me to my knees, a hurt and a longing that caused me to completely surrender to God, his grace and his will.

Hope and faith are what get us through life. Many people give up because they do not see hope of any kind. Our tendency is to focus on the event that has happened and literally stay “in our minds,” being unconscious to our surroundings, doing the best to rely upon ourselves to get out of the current situation. What we don’t realize is that we are trying to be God with ourselves. The idea that people can be or are their own gods is part of the false beliefs in this world and lead us to spiritual bondage. This bondage is with none other than the angel of darkness. We do not realize this. We don’t recognize that Satan comes at us when we least expect it, when our guard is down and we are grieving. When we start thinking that we are responsible, that we can now fix ourselves, we open the flood gates for him to enter and keep us stuck in our grief. We may not feel we are worthy or we may feel guilty for something we failed to do. We must break through this bondage that Satan has over us, take up the cross and establish the relationship with God that lets him direct our lives. We must put on our armor that God provides. “But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet.” 1 Thessalonians 5:8 (NIV).

I propose to you that as this Christmas season approaches, if you have a grieving heart, stay faithful in God’s word, prayer, and if you don’t already, start to journal. It is not an easy road to come back from a catastophic event, and yet I am a testament to God’s strength and his ability to bring you through whatever you are facing.

“He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.” Psalm 91:4 (NLT)